#48: Songs that were popular 6-12 months ago

In the hit CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother* one of the main characters (Robin) hails from Canada and must explain to her friends how music trends take longer to make it to Canada.  While this may or may not be true for the country to the north of ours that Notre Dame Students use to exploit more lenient drinking laws (see #34) it is puzzlingly similar to the tastes Notre Dame Students have for music.

Whether they are too busy studying, praying, or watching football games; for some reason it takes Notre Dame Students much longer to find new songs to enjoy than the rest of the country.  While this phenomenon is inexplicable by conventional means, it can be examined by looking at songs that have become popular over the past year. 

For example, Miley Cyrus’s song See You Again was released nearly two years ago, became popular in the Summer of 2008, and has been playing in Notre Dame bars ever since.  While this song is unquestionably a fine choice to play at Finny’s and The Backer; it has worn out its welcome at nearly every other place in the country outside of a Best of Both World’s Concert (or whatever she calls it these days).  However, Notre Dame Students continue to request the song and enjoy it like it is the hip new thing or a treasured classic (something it will never be).

Meanwhile, it’s nearly impossible to spin a radio dial anywhere in the country without hearing the Black Eyed Peas I Gotta Feeling on several stations.  The song has been at or near the top of the charts for over two months yet is still roughly five months away from becoming a staple at bars and dorm parties.  It might be heard occasionally at Notre Dame, but come January it will be ubiquitous.

This trend has been going strong for several years as well.  Previous songs that Notre Dame Students embraced long past their welcome (and still are embracing) include Taylor Swift’s Love Story, Kelly Clarkson’s Since U Been Gone, Fall Out Boy’s Sugar, We Goin Down, and Estelle’s American Boy (feat. Kanye).  While these songs all had their moment for most of the country, that moment was continued far too long for Notre Dame Students.  

*Returns to CBS on Monday, September 21^st at 8:00 ET . . . trust me, just watch it.

#43: Complaining about the weather

When prospective students apply to the University of Notre Dame they probably don’t know about most of the things on this list. They probably don’t know about the definition of hooking up (see #21) or where they will be getting pizza after a night of debauchery (see #14). They might know about Lou Holtz (see #23) and Saint Mary’s (see #38), while they have almost certainly never been to Finnegan’s or The Backer (see #20 and #26 respectively). However, if there is one thing that prospective students know when they apply to the school, it is that the weather in South Bend is absolutely awful.

South Bend has weather patterns that are somewhat similar to Siberian tundra or the real world in The Matrix. The sun refuses to shine on Notre Dame between October 1^st and May 1^st and there are only a handful of days each year that can be described using the word nice.* During the darkest months of the winter, snow falls at dramatic levels across the region and temperatures reach lows that are unheard of in most of the lower 48.

Despite the fact that all students know the problems with South Bend weather long before they attend the university, the students continuously complain about how bad the weather is and how they wish they lived in a more enjoyable climate. These complaints happen before class starts while they are taking off layers of coats, gloves, scarves, and hats. They happen at November tailgates where the beers aren’t put on ice to get cold, but they are laid out in the sun in order to get warm enough to drink. They happen when it snows at the spring game, and when it rains on the few warm days of the fall.

Not only will Notre Dame Students relentlessly complain about the weather they knew they would encounter in South Bend, but they will use the poor weather as an excuse. Some students will use the weather as an excuse to drink more (as there is nothing better to do in the cold winter months). Other students will use the weather as an excuse not to drink (because it is too cold to go out to parties, or to even get alcohol from the store). Students will use the weather as an excuse to skip classes and they will use the weather as an excuse to wear sweatpants (see #49).

However, the never-ending stream of poor weather in South Bend causes students to be even more excited for the beginning of spring (or as Bill Simmons calls it, Halter Top Day). On this day, which comes unexpectedly and at a different date every year, students rejoice. Shorts and skirts are worn and South Quad is covered with people playing games, tanning themselves, reading books, doing work, and just generally relaxing. For one day each spring Notre Dame Students do not complain about the weather because they know they need to embrace it while it lasts because the next day it will probably snow.

*Luckily in the spring of 2009 these three days fell on St. Patrick’s Day, Pigtostal, and the 22^nd birthday of one Bob Kessler

#34: Windsor, Canada

Going on trips is an essential part of the Notre Dame experience.  Road trips to away football games at beautiful locations such as Ann Arbor, East Lansing, and West Lafayette happen most every September.  Spring and fall breaks also see many students travel to various places across the country and around the world.  However, no location is as widely visited (and as unanimously loved) by Notre Dame Students than Windsor, Canada.

For those unfamiliar with this Midwestern mecca, Windsor is the Las Vegas Atlantic City of the Midwest.  Also described as the seedy underbelly of the Detroit Metro Area*, Windsor is a city that is loved by Notre Dame Students for its lengthy bar district, its unnecessarily extravagant casino, and its infamous strip clubs.  At only three hours from campus, most students will make several excursions to the city over the course of their four years.

These students will make a variety of excuses to go to the city:  “it’s on the way to the Michigan State Game”**. . . “It’s JPW, nobody will be on campus” . . . “It’s Friday Night”.  While all of these are completely valid reasons, the primary reason that Notre Dame Students go to Windsor is because of the 19 year drinking and gambling age (and getting lap dances with Monopoly Money).

While these students will go on to spend countless hours at The Backer, Finny’s, and Fever during their Junior and Senior years; their first drinks at a bar will likely come during their Sophomore year at Peppers or the Boom Boom Room buying Molson and Labatt Blue with two dollar coins while the televisions play highlights of Hockey on TSN.  Because of this, a trip to Winsor is a seminal moment in the lives of many Notre Dame Students.  

These students will be enthralled by Ouellette Avenue Bar district that has several solid blocks of bars with the occasional late night eatery intermixed.  Some will try their hands at the blackjack tables of Casino Windsor late at night while others will entertain themselves with the strip clubs or even the “exotic massage parlors”.  Regardless, these Notre Dame Students will go out of their way to do things that they would never consider on campus, and they will probably repent for their sins upon return to America.

*Although, by now its strip clubs are most likely bringing in more revenue than General Motors and Chrysler combined.

**It’s Not

#28: Thinking Coors Light is Classy Beer

Before students turn the magical age of 21 that finally allows them to peruse the aisles of Belmont Beverages like it’s a toy store, they are at the mercy of upperclassmen to provide them with alcohol and sometimes even places to drink it.  Underclassmen usually find themselves at house parties with kegs or dorm parties featuring small trash cans full of beer that they will drink until the clock strikes two and everybody goes to Reckers (see #14).  This beer is almost always Keystone or Natural Light. 

Keystone and Natural Light are beers that are so abundant in the dorms that an outside observer would think they were brewed by Knute Rockne himself.  Mini-fridges from Carroll to Knott are filled to the brim with these beers that are too pitiful to be touched by Notre Dame Parents.  Notre Dame Underclassmen become so accustomed to the taste of Keystone and Natural that almost anything becomes an upgrade.

Because of this, beers such as Coors, Miller, and Bud light are seen by the Notre Dame Student to be good beers that are even classy enough to have baseball stadiums named after them.  A student that fills his mini-fridge with these fine beverages is making an investment in his drinking that most students just aren’t willing to undertake.  This student will watch his beverages carefully and make sure that others don’t take them because his investment is not meant to be stolen.

Other students who stick with the Natural and Keystone they buy from upperclassmen are shocked when they finally find themselves in the alcohol aisle at Meijer and not only realize that beer comes in bottles . . . but that the price between Keystone and Coors is nothing substantial (see #12).  These students are further shocked when they find themselves in the bars of South Bend and realize that (aside from that hell-hole on Michigan Street) beers of the Natural and Keystone brands are nowhere to be seen.  Pitchers at Finnegan’s, 32-Ouncers at The Backer, and endless glasses at Cheers [varsity] Lounge are all choice brands such as Coors, Miller, and Bud.   

Matters become worse when these students venture away from Notre Dame to visit other schools, go abroad, or even to enter the ‘real world’.  While bringing a case of Coors Light to a Notre Dame pregame might be seen as classy, it probably won’t be seen the same way anywhere else.  

#26: Either Loving or Hating The Backer

Of all the bars in South Bend, no bar divides Notre Dame Students more than the iconic Linebacker Lounge across the street from campus.  While most students equally enjoy bars such as Finnegan’s and Corby’s, Notre Dame Students cannot collectively agree about what to think about The Backer.  Some Students absolutely love it, while other students unapologetically loathe entering it.

For the students who love The Backer*, they have much evidence to cite.  The atmosphere is unparalleled in the South Bend bar scene.  Crammed wall-to-wall with an eclectic mix of students and locals, The Backer is full of patrons whose primary objective is to drink heavily and rock out to a raging musical selection.  This objective is promoted by the free drink tickets that patrons receive at the door, and the infamous Long Island Iced Teas that can light a fire inside the most lackadaisical of patrons.

These Backer-lovers never get tired eagerly anticipate their favorite songs each and every night they put on their Backer-shoes**.  Whether it be the iconic Amen Corner of Country Roads, Rocky Top, and Calling Baton Rouge, the requisite 80’s anthems such as Livin’ on a Prayer or Don’t Stop Believing, the newer pop songs like Love Story and My Life Would Suck Without You, or the climactic closing time triumvirate of God Bless the U.S.A, the Notre Dame Victory March, and Oh What a Night, Backer-lovers sing the night away and enjoy every last minute until the lights come on.  To Backer enthusiasts, the song selection is the stuff dreams are made of, and for the Student lovers, a night at The Backer is like the perfect dorm party on steroids (and is repeated every Friday and Saturday night).

However for this same reason, many Students also hate the Backer.  These Backer-haters can’t stand the task of making their way through a mob of sweat drenched patrons to get to bathrooms that are hellishly disgusting.  They can’t handle the standing liquid on the floor (about a half-inch deep of Backer-slop**) and are equally disgusted by the stripper pole in the middle of the dance floor.  These students are grossed out by the presence of local’s dance floor makeouts that rarely exist at Finnegan’s and long for a place where they can sit down and relax.  They hate the fact that they can’t talk to their friends, and usually do not appreciate the musical selections that prevent conversation.  Simply put, many Notre Dame Students are disgusted by The Backer for the same reasons that other students love it.  

Despite this, while other bars have closed down or changed locations, The Backer has endured the test of time.  Generations of Notre Dame Students have frequented it, and some students will continue to enjoy it.  Whether it is because of awesomeness or infamy The Backer has become a legendary bar that Notre Dame Students will continue to love and continue to hate for as long as it remains. 

*Editor’s note: for full disclosure, The Backer is my favorite bar of all the bars, and I cannot wait until the day (whenever it may be) that I make my glorious return to it.

**Regular patrons know that they ought to wear a pair of shoes they do not care about due to the Backer-slop on the floor.  Backer-slop is formed by mixing 5 parts beer, 3 parts sweat, 3 parts mud, 1 part vomit, and a dash of semen.  The mixing occurs when patrons dance incessantly through the ingredients that are on the floor.

#24: Forming Small Circles

Whether at bars, parties, tailgates, classroom buildings or just hanging out in dorms, Notre Dame Students love to form small circles.  These small circles are critical to the Notre Dame social scene not only for their functional practicality, but also because of what their existence tells other people. 

While small circles can be seen almost anywhere, the most common place to see small circles is at bars.  The Backer, Finnegan’s, Fever, and Corby’s are all places where small circles are frequently seen.  Small circles are important at bars because they allow the Students to talk to each of their friends despite the loud songs, and also allow the students to more effectively sing the choruses of said loud songs as opposed to awkwardly standing alone.  Small circles are especially critical for certain songs, such as God Bless the USA and Piano Man, so that Students can put their arms around each other and sway to the music.

Small circles are also important for their ramifications on the Notre Dame social scene.  You can tell a lot about a person by what small circle they are a part of.  While Notre Dame Students are inherently uncool, you discover things about the crowd a person rolls with by looking at the members of their small circles.  Small circles are most readily formed by people who went abroad together, people that play in the marching band together, people who lived in dorms together, and people who served on student government committees together.  A Notre Dame Student will quickly know if they can join a small circle just by the people who are in it.      

Small circles are important to the Notre Dame social scene because they facilitate the notion of the group.  If a Notre Dame Student wants to enter into a long-term relationship with another Notre Dame Student, the obvious first step is to enter into a small circle with them.  The small circle is the first step in any good Notre Dame relationship, or even any Notre Dame friendship, and it should not be forgotten.

[Special Thanks to friends of the site Brad Blomstrom, Andrew Miller, Robert Ladd, and Matt Bono for their help in forming the pictured small circle]