#98: Dorm parties

Without a Greek system at Notre Dame (see #79), students have to rely on different ways than the stereotypical frat party to have their fun.  With a relatively small number of students living off-campus, part of this desire for large raging parties is quenched by the occasional house party, and part of it is satisfied by the even rarer multi-house bonanza (like PigTostal or St. Patrick’s Day).  However, the most common form of partying (that is incredibly unique to Notre Dame) are the dorm parties that ring out across campus every Friday and Saturday night.

Dorm parties are made possible by the incredibly relaxed rules on drinking in many of the men’s residence halls.  While underage drinking is technically not allowed by the rules of ResLife and the Notre Dame Administration, many of the rectors and hall staffs usually turn a blind eye to the consumption of beer within the walls of their hall (but do not extend the same courtesy to hard alcohol).  These rectors believe that since the students are going to act like college students no matter what they do, it is best for them to make their “poor” decisions in a somewhat safe environment within the dorms.  Likewise, because rectresses are usually irrational and crazy (see #59), dorm parties are de facto restricted to men’s dorms.

Dorm parties are a unique type of party which involves a lot of planning and teamwork (see #25).  The first hurdle in planning a dorm party is getting the beer in the dorm.  While hall staff will turn a blind eye to an actual party, they will confiscate beer if they see it.  This means that students must get a 21-year-old to purchase the beer, and then meet him at a discreet location such as Main Circle where the students (almost always freshmen) pick up the beer in duffle bags and carry it back to the dorm.  If a student is caught by police during this process, things will probably end up poorly for him and “pourly” for the beer. 

Once students have obtained beer and secured it in their rooms, the next step in planning a party is to publicize it.  While usually achieved by creating incredibly clever themes (even though almost nobody dresses to the theme), Notre Dame dorm parties usually have a corresponding Facebook event so that their organizers can invite all of the girls they know (men are not invited to dorm parties in another dorm). 

On the day of the party, students clear out all of the small furniture from one or two rooms in their section and make sure that any bars in nearby rooms are well-stocked.  After emptying small furniture and valuables from the rooms, plastic is used to wrap any dressers, desks or beds that might be remaining to prevent them from getting spilled or vomited on.  Notre Dame Students then set up sound systems with the perfect Notre Dame Playlist for the occasion.  Finally, beer is put on ice in a plethora of trash cans in any party room so that it can be easily accessible and cold when people arrive.

Once the party begins, Notre Dame Students turn off the lights in the party rooms (aside from some accent lighting like Christmas lights, strobe lights, or blacklights) and watch as the room fills until it is overflowing with people.  Inside the party room, Notre Dame Students “dance” and “drink” in near- complete darkness while things get really hot and people sweat profusely.  Outside the party room, RAs and rectors monitor the halls, but turn a blind eye to the debauchery happening within the party room.  As long as the doors stay closed, people stay out of the hallway, and nobody is found vomiting in the bathroom, hall staffs in most of the men’s dorms don’t care about what is occurring..  Once the clock strikes 2 A.M., dorm parties are promptly brought to a close by parietals and students drunkenly spill out of the parties and into the friendly confines of Reckers or LaFortune (see #14).

Notre Dame Students like dorm parties because they are a uniquely weird and dorky way of drinking that can  be found only at a school like Notre Dame.  They also like dorm parties for other reasons.  The men who host dorm parties like them because they give girls a reason to come to their rooms, and these parties make it so that the men don’t even have to go outside into the harsh South Bend weather (see #43) for a fun and eventful night of drinking.  Students also love dorm parties because their dark and crowded nature leads to plenty of dance floor makeouts (sometimes even accidentally), which always lends itself to the possibility of a Notre Dame Hook-Up only a few doors down in the man’s bedroom (see #21).  Furthermore, Notre Dame Students love dorm parties because underclassmen can host them on their own, and can avoid having to go to house parties hosted by people they don’t even know.  

However, the biggest reason Notre Dame Students like dorm parties is that they give them an opportunity to drink without risking their stellar reputations with ridiculous arrests.  Since police and NDSP don’t normally come in the dorms, the only people that can get a dorm party patron in trouble are the hall staff, and even when hall staff intervene in out-of-control parties, they usually don’t do much more than send people stumbling off to Reckers.  Notre Dame Students like the safety from arrest that dorm parties provide, and this is the primary reason they have such an affinity for dorm parties.          

#60: Staying on One Level of Club Fever

On Thursday nights throughout the school year many Notre Dame Students (some that are over 21 . . . some that aren’t) like to frequent “Michiana’s most versatile night club” for drinking, dancing, and everything a person could ever want from the largest nightclub in northern Indiana.  When they go to Club Fever, however, they refuse to take advantage of all the 16,000 square feet of space it has and instead act like squatters on their level of choice.

When some students enter Club Fever, they immediately retreat to the basement where they can find pool and shuffleboard tables, regular lighting, and a decidedly more rock based playlist.  The basement of Fever is frequented by students that typically go to Finny’s on Thursday nights, but go to Fever because somebody in their group suggested that they need a ‘change of pace’ or are ‘getting into a rut.’ 

Many of these patrons will drunkenly make their way outside and down the alley to Finny’s before 1 AM.

[One important aspect of the Club Fever basement is the bathrooms.  Because the basement is attached to a very mediocre restaurant, the bathrooms are the nicest that can be found at any South Bend drinking establishment.  Ultimately this is unimportant.]

The main level of Club Fever is probably one of the most diverse places in South Bend.  There are drunk girls with the mindset of “F*** guys, I just want to dance” dancing with their girlfriends.  There are local residents who will oftentimes interrupt their dancing for unexpected fist fighting.  There are creepy guys walking around the dance floor trying to act cool but knowing that their best move is to come up at a girl from behind and begin dancing with her before she sees them.  There are also Notre Dame Basketball players.

These people love the main level because the darkness, occasional smoke, incessant strobe lights, and tightly packed crowd create an excellent opportunity for Dance Floor Makeouts.  The $1 Natural Lights also make this one of the least expensive public drinking locations . . . anywhere.

While the main level of Club Fever is one of the most diverse, the upstairs is probably the least diverse.  More open than the basement and better lit than the main level, the upstairs of the bar is enjoyed by the Notre Dame Students that wish they had attended state schools.  These students tend to go out every night of the week and see Thursday nights at Fever as the best of them all.  They kind of know each other well (but kind of don’t); they live off-campus as juniors; they’ve had fake IDs since freshmen year; they’ll spend lots of money on mixed drinks, but they probably won’t get too drunk.  People come to the upstairs of Club Fever to pick up girls/guys and go home with them, something students on the other levels are just not interested in.

***

All three levels combine to make Club Fever one of the most out of place bars in the entire South Bend area.  With three distinct areas (and stairs between them where people are rarely seen) Club Fever is a place that Notre Dame Students love, but for a variety of reasons, and a place where they will continue to go on Thursday nights (at least until it inevitably gets shut down).

#26: Either Loving or Hating The Backer

Of all the bars in South Bend, no bar divides Notre Dame Students more than the iconic Linebacker Lounge across the street from campus.  While most students equally enjoy bars such as Finnegan’s and Corby’s, Notre Dame Students cannot collectively agree about what to think about The Backer.  Some Students absolutely love it, while other students unapologetically loathe entering it.

For the students who love The Backer*, they have much evidence to cite.  The atmosphere is unparalleled in the South Bend bar scene.  Crammed wall-to-wall with an eclectic mix of students and locals, The Backer is full of patrons whose primary objective is to drink heavily and rock out to a raging musical selection.  This objective is promoted by the free drink tickets that patrons receive at the door, and the infamous Long Island Iced Teas that can light a fire inside the most lackadaisical of patrons.

These Backer-lovers never get tired eagerly anticipate their favorite songs each and every night they put on their Backer-shoes**.  Whether it be the iconic Amen Corner of Country Roads, Rocky Top, and Calling Baton Rouge, the requisite 80’s anthems such as Livin’ on a Prayer or Don’t Stop Believing, the newer pop songs like Love Story and My Life Would Suck Without You, or the climactic closing time triumvirate of God Bless the U.S.A, the Notre Dame Victory March, and Oh What a Night, Backer-lovers sing the night away and enjoy every last minute until the lights come on.  To Backer enthusiasts, the song selection is the stuff dreams are made of, and for the Student lovers, a night at The Backer is like the perfect dorm party on steroids (and is repeated every Friday and Saturday night).

However for this same reason, many Students also hate the Backer.  These Backer-haters can’t stand the task of making their way through a mob of sweat drenched patrons to get to bathrooms that are hellishly disgusting.  They can’t handle the standing liquid on the floor (about a half-inch deep of Backer-slop**) and are equally disgusted by the stripper pole in the middle of the dance floor.  These students are grossed out by the presence of local’s dance floor makeouts that rarely exist at Finnegan’s and long for a place where they can sit down and relax.  They hate the fact that they can’t talk to their friends, and usually do not appreciate the musical selections that prevent conversation.  Simply put, many Notre Dame Students are disgusted by The Backer for the same reasons that other students love it.  

Despite this, while other bars have closed down or changed locations, The Backer has endured the test of time.  Generations of Notre Dame Students have frequented it, and some students will continue to enjoy it.  Whether it is because of awesomeness or infamy The Backer has become a legendary bar that Notre Dame Students will continue to love and continue to hate for as long as it remains. 

*Editor’s note: for full disclosure, The Backer is my favorite bar of all the bars, and I cannot wait until the day (whenever it may be) that I make my glorious return to it.

**Regular patrons know that they ought to wear a pair of shoes they do not care about due to the Backer-slop on the floor.  Backer-slop is formed by mixing 5 parts beer, 3 parts sweat, 3 parts mud, 1 part vomit, and a dash of semen.  The mixing occurs when patrons dance incessantly through the ingredients that are on the floor.

#21: Being Confused About the Definition of Hooking-Up

Notre Dame Students love to hook-up . . . at least they think they do.  If there is one thing that regularly causes more viewpoint fodder than Saint Mary’s girls or the Vagina Monologues it is the perceived hook-up culture at Notre Dame.  Students love to talk about who hooked-up with whom or how many guys somebody has hooked-up with.  At the end of the day, however, Notre Dame Students are incredibly confused about the definition of the term hook-up.

At most colleges and universities across the country the term hook-up means that two people had sex.  If a frat guy at the University of Illinois told one of his bros that he hooked up with a girl it would absolutely mean that the two had sex.  If a Knott guy tells his roommate that he hooked up with a girl, it could mean anything from ‘we touched each other’ to ‘we dance floor madeout’ to ‘I got a topless blowjob’ to ‘we had sex’.  While it is possible that the Knott guy had sex with the girl, one of the other scenarios is far more likely.

At Notre Dame, sexual intercourse is a rarity.  While certain football players won’t shy away from tag teaming girls in the Keough Hall Laundry room, many Notre Dame Students won’t even think about having sex until they are firmly committed in a long term relationship and have turned their Claddaugh Rings around (see #6).

Because of this, Notre Dame Students need to adopt a new vernacular when discussing the hook-up culture. 

Simply saying that they hooked-up is not enough to define the nature of what happened.  If Notre Dame Students want to imply that they had sex, it would be best to say that they U of I Hooked-Up while if they merely made out and touched each other they can say that they Notre Dame Hooked-Up.  This distinction will not only allow students to more accurately describe their actions to other Notre Dame Students, but it will also help to clarify their moral superiority over their state school counterparts.

#5: Dressing up to go to dive bars

Notre Dame Students cannot help themselves when it comes to their attire at local drinking establishments.  For three years they hide from this mecca of drinking establishments within the Notre Dame bubble and then all of a sudden a world of possibilities opens to them when they turn 21 (unless of course they had a fake ID).  Places like Finnegan’s, The Linebacker Lounge, Tailgaters, Club 23, Corby’s, and Club Fever become realities as the law turns in their favor.  Each year students learn to love these bars while wearing the most fashionable clothing that middle to upper class money can buy.

If Notre Dame were in any big city or college town, nobody would bat an eye if the students stepped into a bar like the Backer wearing torn up jeans and a t-shirt, but for whatever reason Notre Dame Students feel an inherent need to dress up at the dive bars they frequent the most.  Notre Dame Students will only enter a bar if they are at least wearing a couple articles of designer clothing.  Since logos are of the utmost importance many Notre Dame Men wear polo shirts that prominently display men on horses or crocodiles.  Notre Dame Students are also always certain to wear blue jeans that come from top notch designers.

Notre Dame Students don’t worry about the fact that these bars usually appear somewhere on the cleanliness scale between dirty and “on the verge of being condemned” because they need to look good when frequenting them.  Notre Dame Students do worry about their shoes at these bars though; everybody knows that there will probably be a good half-inch of standing beer on the dance floor at the Backer and that the toilets at Finnys are usually overflowing out of the bathroom.  Notre Dame Students make sure that they have an old pair of designer shoes that they can wear for those troublesome times when their shoes might be soiled by an unknown liquid. 

Notre Dame Students dress up to go to dive bars with the intent of differentiating themselves from the local residents of South Bend.  If they see a person in jeans and a t-shirt, a Notre Dame Student can usually assume that this person is not one of them (unless they are coming from a game or broomball).  But when Notre Dame Students see a person sporting the flashiest trends like they are going to a high priced New York City club, then they know that the person is a fellow student and an ample target for making out with on the dance floor.