The rule of parietals means that at midnight or 2:00 AM (depending on if it’s a weeknight or a weekend) students must remove themselves from dorms of the opposite sex until the next morning. This means that students (or outside friends and relatives) are not allowed to sleep in dorms of the opposite sex, and they are not allowed to stay later no matter what they are doing.
The majority of Notre Dame Students talk negatively about parietals. They blame the rule for treating the students like children. They use the rule as an excuse for poor gender relations amongst students, and they criticize the rule for being too old-fashioned. If you listen to what they say in public, one might think that Notre Dame Students hate parietals.
Deep down, however, most Notre Dame Students actually like parietals.
Parietals are a necessary check on Notre Dame Student’s drunken decision making. They take away the pressure that Notre Dame Students feel about potentially sleeping together, and give Notre Dame Students an excuse not to sleep together (and limit themselves to Notre Dame Hookups at earlier hours, see #21).
Furthermore, because of the sometimes lackadaisical way that the rule is enforced, students that are in long term relationships are able to break parietals fairly easily without trouble. These students like to break parietals not only because it allows them to sleep with their significant other, but also because it makes them think that they are completely badass [or awesome].
Parietals force parties to end at reasonable times, giving Notre Dame Students an excuse not to stay awake late into the night. While Students might sometimes consider staying up late to party, deep down they actually want to get to bed before 3:00 AM on Friday and Saturday nights so that they can wake up early and study on the weekends. Parietals facilitate the innate desire that Notre Dame Students have to work hard and party hard.
Most importantly, parietals allow students to build strong relationships with the friends in their own dorm. The most significant times of bonding occur amongst students after parietals when they play video games, participate in single-sex drinking games, and talk about every possible topic that could come up. Camaraderie is built amongst students after parietals in ways that would be impossible if the other sex was present.
Despite all this, Notre Dame Students will rarely admit to actually liking parietals. Not only is it very easy to blame poor gender relations on the rule, but it would also be very uncool to champion the rule. Ultimately, liking parietals is completely counter to being SO college (see #11), and because of this Notre Dame Students will continue to steadfastly pretend that they hate the rule.
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I never thought either way about liking or not liking parietals, but you make a lot of good points in its favor- they are actually mostly true! Nice job:)
ReplyDeleteBaby, we would cuddle, but look at the time. Wow! We gotta hurry you outta here! It's almost parietals!
ReplyDeleteHeh, so true. And when your roommate has a bunch of guys/girls in your room, and you just want to do homework, you can say, "Whoops, guys, looks like you're gonna have to leave! See ya later!" without looking like a complete jerk.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, I still hate parietals.
ReplyDeleteI loved them. I broke them 4 nights out of 7 (making my now-husband and I total badasses), but that doesn't mean I didn't love that I could walk down the hall looking like ass at 4 am and not care who saw me. And if my roommate was dating a schmuck, it totally didn't matter. Go, Parietals!
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced that #4 is the only reason the administration can still make the argument that parietals are a positive thing. But it's absolute bullshit. They really are a main source of sexism on campus, and the drive behind "bro" culture. People are in fundamentally different mindsets late in the evening, so hanging out with members of the opposite sex late at night, in the privacy of a room rather than big, bright, impersonal lounges or Lafortune is essential to growing to understand people more completely and developing meaningful relationships with them. The problem is, proponents of parietals don't actually believe that, or, at the very least, don't value developing that portion of relationships with people of the opposite sex. That's inherently sexist.
ReplyDeleteThere was an article in the Observer a few years ago on this issue. One student made a pretty accurate comment: “A person lets down his guard in the comfortable surrounding of his dorm room ... Once the makeup, nice clothes and party atmosphere are gone, there remains just the person, flaws and all." -- Is this not essential in developing relationships?
Furthermore, parietals diminish the possibility for men and women to develop legitimately platonic relationships. One essay puts it best:
"Without this level of interaction [sharing time in late-night private settings], friendships are not allowed to flourish in the healthiest manner. The possibility of a platonic relationship between a man and a woman on campus is inevitably compromised. Instead, this social void is filled with what is available, and as intersex friendships decline, same-sex friendships become stronger. In fact, the University Student Hand Book du Lac states that parietals are intentionally instituted in order to “…foster the personal and social development of residence hall students…”. In other words, they promote same sex friendships over intersex friendships. Such polarization produces undesirable consequences—the reduction of male-female relationships to romantic or sexual in nature. From observation, it is plain to see that many of the “friendships” between men and women experience inconsistencies; that is, both males and females alike are strained to contain their relationships to nonsexual ideals. College campuses with integrated residency are far more conducive of amiable relationships between members of opposite sexes, without the element of romance involved. This gives strong evidence that parietals (or at the very least, single sex dorms) are responsible for this effect."
Lastly, parietals are so contrary to the real world. College is supposed to be the time young adults move AWAY from their parents and their rules; where they are obligated to finally make decisions based on their own values. Sure, people make bad decisions, but since when were college administrations meant to be the moral police for 20-some year olds who ought to be mature enough to deal with the consequences of even the most unwise of their actions? Parietals baby residence and unnecessarily postpone the decisions they are going to have to make eventually.
I think it's safe to say that anyone who really believes in parietals has either an intrinsically incomplete understanding of the consequences, or doesn't mind living with these forms of sexism.
^^^ woah i think we're gonna have a viewpoint war right here in the comments section!
ReplyDeletehuh, somebody certainly put a lot of thought into his/her reply!
ReplyDeletehmm dont really think this blog should be about "all notre dame students" as most of what you said refers to the ridiculously annoying and socially inept domers that have come to populate the school and not to anyone else
ReplyDeleteI'd rather not have them. Parietals are embraced by those who are only associated with their friends in the dorms and nothing else. I believe some of the consequences have been stretched often too far for the infractions that have occurred.
ReplyDeleteI lived in a basement room in Fisher that permitted members of the opposite sex to enter and exit in and out of the ground-level windows in the room. Of course, it also allowed a burglar to enter and exit the same room and steal my computer over Christmas break.
ReplyDeleteI think it's more about being considerate of others' right to go to bed after 2AM. . .don't get me wrong, I'm all for platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex, but when you're living in a very non-soundproofed college dorm room as opposed to a private apartment or home, you have to recognize that you're giving up a certain amount of autonomy in exchange for the convenience of living in on your college's campus. The dorms are provided for the convenience of all students at the university, and to insist that your potentially randomly assigned roommate has to stay up until 5AM so that you can bond in the (apparently irreplaceable) atmosphere of your dorm room is, at best, pretty inconsiderate.
ReplyDeleteYou know, this is the same kind of "right to be SO COLLEGE" attitude that irks ND students' neighbors in South Bend. Being an adult means more than just being able to decide stay up all night and party/bond with your besties--it means being able to consider that maybe your neighbors had their own plans for tonight that didn't involve you keeping them up till dawn. Maybe THAT'S what the University is trying to get across by enforcing parietals? Thanks for reading.
sounds like a good way for gay dudes to nail some hot frustrated boy butts
ReplyDeleteparietals are good for weekends this way they shut down those lame-ass dancing parties in the dorms for overly-eager, dorky kids who are pretending to try to get laid
ReplyDeletehahahahahah... platonic relationships. get a load of this one.
ReplyDeleteparietals are so easy to break anyway.
ReplyDeletewho are you to say breaking parietals makes us feel badass?
ReplyDeleteHave you considered the possibility that Notre Dame students talk about how they dislike parietals because they legitimately dislike parietals? **No you're just acting like you don't like parietals so you can let everyone who reads this know that you're a badass.** Well then why did I comment as anonymous, idiot?
ReplyDelete