#92: Overly elaborate dorm room configurations

It’s already established that residence halls are an important part of life for Notre Dame Students.  At many colleges, dorms might be simply the place where students sleep at night and have a desk to occasionally work; but for Notre Dame Students, dorms actually become their home (and remain as a home for them even after they move out).  In an effort to make their rooms more homey, Notre Dame Students plan and construct the most elaborate dorm rooms possible.

To begin their room construction, Notre Dame Students start at the floor by purchasing wall-to-wall carpeting to cover the tile.  While throw rugs would certainly be the easiest option, Notre Dame Students know that cutting carpeting to perfectly fit their rooms not only looks great and feels comfortable, but requires the extra bit of effort that makes a perfect dorm room (despite the fact that it’s impossible to adequately clean vomit and beer spills out of carpeting).

After their floors are covered, Notre Dame Students will then look for the most efficient way to fit all of the essential beds, desks, wardrobes and dressers into their room.  Being efficient with this is not only important because it saves space for extraneous items later, but it also shows how clever Notre Dame Students can be with using limited resources and building things.  Most Notre Dame Students determine that the best way to go with these essential items is up, and they build elaborate lofts to make their rooms into multi-level enterprises with their beds (and sometimes even desks) high enough off the floor so that they can walk under them and plan a further living space. 

Once they have their essential furniture in place, and have made sure that they have enough room for the largest possible desk chair they can buy at Office Depot, Notre Dame Students shift their attention to the living spaces that are more important to them.  Many students will construct television stands that sometimes act as lofts themselves, oftentimes with room for two or more televisions, mini-fridges, video game systems, sound systems, and cable boxes. 

Notre Dame Students will want their rooms to fit multiple televisions so that they can watch several things at once (especially during football season), and entice as many people as possible to congregate in their room.  To successfully do this, Notre Dame Students will do their best to maximize seating by having multiple couches and chairs in their rooms.  Furthermore, they will maximize viewing opportunities from these couches by raising one or more on cinder blocks above others to create a stadium seating atmosphere that improves sightlines to televisions and shows how serious the residents are about watching sporting events.

As the icing on the cake, Notre Dame Students will construct elaborate bars in their rooms that they will use to host parties and pregames.  These bars will usually have at least one fridge behind them (and oftentimes a blender), as well as a stockpile of liquors, mixers, and a wide array of drinking glasses of all shapes and sizes.  After that, Notre Dame Students will clutter up the walls of their rooms with posters, pennants, flags (see #55), and bar neons in an inexplicable attempt to recreate the atmosphere of a TGI Friday's.

Once they are finished, Notre Dame Students will invite all of their friends over to see how awesome their room is.  They will show it off to people they don’t even know to make themselves feel good.  They will use their awesome room to throw parties and entice people to it, and they will end up losing money maintaining their stockpile of liquor behind the bar.  Ultimately, Notre Dame Students will love these rooms, because once they are complete; they will truly be home.

#78: Feeling Strongly About New Jersey

 One of the best things about Notre Dame is the school’s unique ability to draw students from a variety of regions and states around the country.  As a well-known national university, students don’t just come from nearby Chicago (despite #47), but from places as far away as California, Texas, and Florida.  None of these home states, however, is as infamous amongst students as the Garden State of New Jersey.

As a group within the student body, those from New Jersey are proud of where they hail from and the reputation that comes with it.  They’re dedicated fans of The Boss and The Sopranos and proudly cheer for either of the two NFL teams that call their state home.  They have trouble pumping their own gasoline, but easily distinguish themselves by their exit on the New Jersey turnpike.  Students from New Jersey are proud of all these things.

To a certain extent, the pride and loyalty that New Jerseyans have for their state stems from the negative impression and reputation that is perpetuated by students from other states.  These students have their own strong opinions about the state, and convey these opinions by touting stereotypes that everybody has heard and pointing out when their friends from New Jersey meet these stereotypes from time to time (or all the time). 

Because of this process, students from New Jersey will embrace the good things about their state, and the successes that have come from their state, while those from the rest of the country will only use this to focus their jokes and criticism. 

These feelings about New Jersey were exemplified last fall when students embraced MTV’s Jersey Shore as a way to not only quench their thirst for high-quality non-scripted television, but to also bond over their strong feelings about the state and the stereotypes that are associated with it.

For those not from the New Jersey, the show helped to reinforce their perceptions of the state, and give them more fodder for jokes.  Meanwhile, those from New Jersey were actually proud of the show and hail the characters as heroes of their state (ironically despite the fact that only one member of the show’s cast is actually from the state of New Jersey).  One way or another, Notre Dame Students liked the show because of their strong feelings about the state; and while Notre Dame Students come from a lot of places, New Jersey is the only one that creates feelings this strong and divisive.

#23: Lou Holtz

Despite the fact that he hasn’t coached here in a dozen years, Notre Dame Students love Lou Holtz more than ever.  Maybe it is his pep rally speeches on YouTube, maybe it is his unapologetic support of Notre Dame on College GameDay Final, or maybe it is just a longing for the glory days that can’t seem to return.  Whatever it is, Notre Dame Students still love Lou Holtz.

When Lou Holtz talks, Notre Dame Students listen.  His Dr. Lou and Pep Talk segments on College GameDay Live frequently quiet any room of Notre Dame Students (despite the fact he frequently says the same thing), and his YouTube clips regularly capture the attention of students as well.  A Lou Holtz speech will make most Notre Dame Students foam at the mouth or scream deliriously in support of their favorite Notre Dame Football coach.

What is puzzling is that Lou Holtz achieved his greatest success before most current students were even alive, and last contended for a National Championship before these students were in kindergarten.  The man was forced out of his job here under mysterious circumstances and was last seen as a coach at the University of South Carolina, but Notre Dame Students love him more than ever because of his quick quips and intense rivalry with Irish-hater Mark May.

Notre Dame Students love Lou Holtz because he has reached that Grandfatherly level where he can say whatever he wants whenever he wants.  He no longer cares how crazy people might perceive him to be, he just says what he wants.  No matter how poorly the University might have treated him ten years ago; Lou Holtz will love Notre Dame until the end of time; and because of this Notre Dame Students will always love him.

#19: The OC and other Teen Dramas

Notre Dame Students love drama, and not just the drama that is happening around them.  Notre Dame Students are enthralled with Teen Dramas on television.  At the height of its existence, The OC was the biggest television show on campus.  No meeting, class, party, or dinner could be scheduled during the FOX drama, and it was required television for any student who wanted to be with it. 

For two solid years, Notre Dame Students were enthralled with the hijinks of Seth, Ryan, Summer, and Marissa, hanging on every move of the beautiful foursome.  Then it all unraveled.  Caleb died, Trey was shot, Ryan punched the dean, and Johnny fell off a cliff.  Notre Dame Students became less and less interested in the adventures of the gang in Newport, and drama had to be found in other places. 

Since The OC was cancelled, Notre Dame Students have had to look to other means to get their fix of drama.  While some students have just continued to get their OC fix by watching reruns on SoapNet, others have started watching shows such as Gossip Girl, 90210, and Friday Night Lights to satisfy the teen drama fix.  While these shows might be just as entertaining as The OC was, none of them has succeeded in capturing the imagination of Notre Dame Students like The OC did, once upon a time.